| Past Issues | Advertise | www.faahq.org | Multifamily FLORIDA archive | February 2012 |
Two Easy Ways to Increase Your Career Confidence Starting Today
By Mary Foley What’s your single biggest challenge to having the career (and life) that you really want? This question was asked to several hundred women and the resounding response centered around one theme: More confidence! Though it may not always be apparent, men struggle with feeling confident, too. Women are simply more apt to admit it and, frankly, we can be our own worst enemy. One day I read an article about the first female federal judge appointed in Richmond, VA after 215 years. Wow, impressive! But, here’s where this ground-breaking gal missed a huge opportunity. She told the reporter "I’m still learning what it’s going to be like. It never occurred to me that I would end up being a judge." What? Oh, no! Though her words may be true, they don’t exude confidence that she knows what she’s doing, especially in an important public role. And it ended up in the headline which read: Female Judge: ‘I’m Still Learning.’ Ugh. Unfortunately, the article didn’t contain any more quotes that helped her regain ground. Feeling more confident is ultimately an inside job, which often requires reflecting on your past, un-sticking self-limiting beliefs, and replacing old tapes with healthier ones. In addition, you can increase your career confidence by externally demonstrating certain behaviors. The positive responses you get can feed your internal sense of confidence. Here are two easy ways to increase your career confidence starting today. 1. Be Mindful Of Your Words My hunch is that the newly appointed judge didn’t even consider what she was saying. She wasn’t mindful that phrases such as "I’m still learning" and "It never occurred to me" could communicate a lack of confidence. She just said what she was feeling and came to mind. Chances are you feel there’s something to learn when starting a new job, and that you, too, are a bit surprised how your career has evolved. But focusing on these things doesn’t make you more endearing; it makes us wonder if you can do the job. It would have been better for judge to say "I’m really looking forward to serving Virginia residents with my experience as a fair, competent judge. I’m not afraid of the tough issues." Very likely, she felt that way, too, but she didn’t SAY it. The key to choosing words that exude confidence is to choose words that positively affect the other person AND are authentic. Communicate to your boss, project manager, co-workers, or clients that you absolutely can do something for THEM that they want or need. Plus, share something true about you or how you feel about the situation that backs it up. "Absolutely, I can create a spreadsheet of high-potential clients and sponsors. I’m sure that once we share our goal and mission, they will want to be a part of what we’re doing!" 2. Don’t Over Explain The late, great Katharine Hepburn said "Don’t over explain, don’t over complain." I've seen time and again a competent, intelligent woman explain to the nth degree why she made a decision, including all the background events of who said what, who did what, then what happened, and on and on. As a result, her stature and power seep out of the room. All that explanation is just not necessary! In fact, it goes against her entire effort to be thought of as credible and to be taken seriously. It's so much more powerful to say what you want or share what you did, add a few words, and then shut up. Often the less you say, the more people assume you’re competent, especially if your body language communicates confidence as well. If others have questions, they'll ask! And you can decide how you want to respond. Try these two communication techniques today and watch your internal – and external – confidence grow! About Mary Foley Mary Foley inspires women with practical advice to create sanity for their lives and confidence for their careers – all while having a bit of fun! She is the author of three books including Bodacious Career: Outrageous Success for Working Women, a popular national speaker, and former co-host of the Girlfriend We Gotta Talk! radio show. You can be inspired, too! Get her FREE Sanity, Confidence and Fun Action Pack jam-packed full of e-books, mini-posters, and other goodies at http://www.maryfoley.com. Phone: 800.409.3527 (Toll Free) Email: MaryFoley@MaryFoley.com |
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