3 Ways to Say NO Nicely ... Plus a Guilt-Free YES!

By Guest Author/Speaker Sarita Maybin

Say NO Nicely

An important part of communication – at work and at home – is being able to set boundaries. This means knowing when and how to decline opportunities that aren't a priority for you, and doing so WITHOUT destroying the relationship. This is especially important in the meeting planning arena where relationship building is a critical part of your business ... and you’re already juggling multiple projects, programs and prospective clients!

So, how do you say NO nicely? My favorite ways fall into the three categories below. Choose the phrases, or a combination of phrases, that work best for you! Above all else, avoid making excuses!

1. Compliment NO

"I appreciate your thinking of me, however I'm going to opt out."

"Thanks for the opportunity, however I'm not able to pursue it."

"This sounds like a great project,yet I won't be able to participate.

"Thank you. My plate is full right now."

2. Empathy NO

"I know you need help with this, however I'm not available."

"I'm not able to attend, yet would love to help in another way."

"I know you're swamped with work, unfortunately I'm not able to help."

"You've worked hard on this committee; however I won't be able to join."

3. "Choose" to Say NO

"I've chosen to pass on that offer."

"That's not on my radar right now."

"That doesn't work for me."

"I'm not feelin' it."

By the way, category 3 also works well when someone replies with WHY!???

You say: "That just doesn't work for me." or "I'm just not feelin' it."

Remember, no excuse making! Making excuses will just back you into a corner, and you’ll end up agreeing to something you’d rather not do. For example, if you say "I don’t have time right now," you may be approached again next week, and the week after that ... until you finally give in.

Guilt-Free YES

Drawing boundaries and saying "no" is most challenging when the person making the request is your boss or an equally powerful person: the client. It can be quite intimidating to consider refusing a request from either of these high-ranking people because they seem to hold your fate in the palm of their hands.

However, if you must say YES, do it without guilt. Set conditions and parameters that work for you!

For example:

"Would you be willing to wait until Monday morning so we can have more detailed information for you?"

"Could you live with it if we finished it up first thing tomorrow instead of 5 p.m. today?"

"I'd be happy to get that info to you, if it can wait until tomorrow."

"Working on this project today will delay the other projects that we’re already working on for you. Which one is your highest priority?"

So, there you have it! Three ways to say NO nicely and a guilt-free YES ... WITHOUT destroying the relationship!

Sarita Maybin is a communication expert, international speaker and author of the book "If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?" available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com. To view her TEDx Talk or to book her to speak at your next event, please visit www.saritamaybin.com.

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