Seeking the Aha Moment
When we try something new, we invariably feel uncomfortable. For lack of a better term, we are in the incompetent phase of learning. Please don’t get caught up on the word incompetent. It often carries a very negative connotation. In truth, it just means that we have not yet become adept at a new skill or task. I would not feel great if I was referred to as incompetent and I certainly don’t like admitting my incompetence.
Consequently, we want to overcome that initial learning phase as quickly as possible. As managers and leaders, we want that for our team members as well. Getting to a place of competence or skillfulness allows you, me, and them to feel productive and contributing. Sometimes, though, we are in such a rush that we forget the value of the struggle. Learning to experiment, explore, and fail is a crucial part of acquiring a new skill. Some may not take up a new challenge, so they don’t have to manage the floundering feeling of incompetence. Perhaps we need new perspectives that allow us to take that first, or hundredth, step on the journey to competence and mastery.
Who Can I Call?
There can be shame in not knowing how to perform a particular task. It may feel like “everyone knows how to do this and so should I.” In reality, there are few endeavors for which the path is simple or easy. Unless your last name is Mozart and composed as a small child, it’s important to remember that others have experienced the same feelings and are willing to help. I recently got a call from a friend who was struggling with his bread baking and was feeling frustrated. Could I teach him everything? No. But I could talk through the process he was following to help him pinpoint areas of improvement.
Let the Lightbulb Moment Happen Naturally
As a coach, some might say teacher too, I respect that a client comes to realizations and breakthroughs in their own time. The process can’t be rushed and is internally driven. Trying to force it or implement your approach robs your colleague or team member of the excitement of figuring it out, of personalizing the process that leads to a feeling of competence.
It might be that the best we can do as leaders and managers is to create an environment where others can explore their own incompetence long enough in a safe environment to learn something useful. The “useful” could be a decision that the hard work is not worth the effort. It might be that there is so much more to learn and that adds excitement. You may be a quick-study and decide that knowing the basics is more than enough. Wherever you are in your own incompetence or in helping someone through theirs, trust the process, take as many deep breaths as you need, and remember that others will be there to support your journey.
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